Back to the here and now

I am still working on Benjamin's story. I am toying around with the idea of trying to get it published as a memoir. I am adding to it and adding new chapters; new experiences. I'm not sure if I will ever actually get it published, it seems like a lot of work! But it is something that I would love to do. I know the memoirs I have read helped me a lot and I think there needs to be more firsthand stories out there for other moms of stillborn babies to read and relate to. We need to know that we are not alone, that the entire range of emotions and thoughts that we are experiencing are normal. That the pain never goes away but that it becomes part of your life and you find a way to function with it; that you don't let it consume your life. We need to see the love and happiness that comes with having that baby, even if that baby is not born alive.

So that's what I'm doing now. Slowly adding to the story. I'll keep you posted if I ever get around to trying to get it published.

Now, onto some photos and stories about Jackson! We just recently got back from a trip to Oregon to visit family. Jackson was a fantastic little traveller. He adjusted immediately to his new surroundings and seemed to have a good time. He turned into a huge Mommy's Boy the entire trip and would do this horrid screeching cry if I left his sight for too long. It made my trip a little more stressful, especially since Brian was not able to come with us (it was just Jackson, my parents and me). Jackson got spoiled on the trip. My aunt made sure that we went to a park almost every day with him! The nice thing about the city they live in is that two of the malls have indoor parks, so even if it was raining he got to go to a park! We need those up here!

So here's some photos from our trip!




Hmmm... I have realized that once again I sucked at taking photos on my trip! I always take my camera with all intentions of taking tons of photos. Then I get home and realize I only took photos on about 2 occassions. And of course I have no photos of the people we were visiting! Geesh! I need to get better about that!