Benjamin

It was Benjamin's birthday yesterday. I posted about it on my other blog so instead of re-writing about it here you can just go over there and read about it. Lazy? Maybe. Do I care? Not really. I'm on a timecrunch here. Lexi is sleeping in her swing but grunting like the 80 year old man she thinks she is, so I can only assume she's going to wake up any minute.

What I really wanted to post about here is Benjamin Boxes and Empty Arms. I am sure I have posted about them before, but if not I'll go over them again.

Benjamin Boxes are comfort boxes that I have made up for the hospital. When a family finds out that their baby has died they will be given one of these boxes. Inside there are items that I hope will help to ease the pain and make the time a little easier for the family. Included are: a newborn gown to dress the baby in; a small ink kit to do hand and foot prints and a small card to put the prints in; a journal and pen; some nice stationary to write a letter to the baby; a small package of tissues; a small zip-close bag for small items (ie: hair clipping); a letter about the reason behind the boxes and Benjamin's story; a list of websites dealing with grief and pregnancy/infant loss; a card from a mother who has gone through this with her email address so the mom has a contact right away; info about Empty Arms; and other relevant pamphlets and reading materials.

I hope to be able to supply as many boxes as the hospital needs a year. I am looking at at least 12 a year. They will be for families who have had a stillbirth, but possibly also for those who have lost a baby very shortly after birth. The only thing in these boxes that has been donated is the gowns, and that is from a local store (www.motheringtouch.ca), other than that all the items are coming out of my pocket. More on that in a minute...

Empty Arms is a support group that Heather and I started for bereaved parents. We were surprised to find out that there is no support group for pregnancy and infant loss in the area. I don't think there is one on the entire island. So we started one ourselves. We meet twice a month in the meeting room of our business. So far we have had 4 other women come to the meetings. But we have also had a great response from the community about how this group is needed. We just have to get the word out there more. In addition to having the meetings we also offer a book lending library. These books are all ones from my own collection and all deal with grief and stillbirth or infant loss. These books are not easy to find. After Benjamin was born I was disappointed to find that the libraries here do not carry books on this subject. The bookstores were a similar disappointment. In order to find a book on stillbirth or infant loss you had to order them on line. There were plenty of books on grief or on losing a child, but these are not usually relevant to our group. These books often talk about the memories you have of the loved one you lost. In our case we don't really have any memories, so reading that just feels like another stab of pain. Currently we have about 6 books in our 'library'.

My reason for posting about this is making me uncomfortable, lol! I wish that I could purchase all the items for the boxes, and purchase enough books to fill the library. But realistically I cannot do that. That's where this post comes in. If any of you would like to help out these two very worthwhile causes it would be very appreciated. I cannot offer any type of charitable receipt but I can offer a nice handmade thank you card and a warm fuzzy feeling of doing good in your heart. I am mainly looking for Chapters gift cards or monetary donations to buy the supplies for the boxes.

I feel icky asking for donations but the cause is very important to me.

And on that note my little grunter has woken up and is screaming for attention...